What shall we talk about today?
I think step 6.95 sounds like a good one.
What, you ask, is step 6.95? It's the step I'm stuck at, though I have to wonder if I've been working 7 without really realizing it.
Step 6 for me boiled down to a question in "Paths to Recovery". Are you entirely ready to be done with this (thats my rewording)? Are you tired with this life?
I am. I want to be healthier. I want to not keep doing the same things over and over again and expecting different results.
But asking for help is hard. Especially when I don't always have faith in my higher power. It's weird. While I do trust the big picture to my higher power, I'm not sure I trust the day to day decisions to her. To ask her to remove my short comings is even harder than admitting my life is unmanageable.
So I'm at step 6.95. I do honestly want to change, but I'm still not sure it's my higher power who will do it for me. This is a level of trust I'm very unsure of. And one I'm not sure what to do with.

So how can I say that I might be on 7?
From what I've heard, having character defects removed is just that. Having space in between you and your character defect. The space to make new choices. And I feel like I've had this lately. That I can make new choices. It's not that I just suddenly am making healthy choices, but rather that I have the mental space to realize that I can choose the old path or I can choose the new healthier path. I've been working on choosing the new healthy path. It's taking energy, but at least I can see that I have choices.
So maybe I am at step 7, just in my own unique way.