New behavior

New behavior is hard. Especially when it's deeply entrenched, in you and in society. And even more so when it's good for you. I know some of my triggers. Certain songs are still hard for me to hear. I find particular people hard to be around because they remind me of past relationships. But certain kinds of movies can send me spiraling. I started watching "Must Love Dogs" tonight when I got home from the meeting I went to (Saturday nights are often reserved for an open AA meeting I like). I'm sure "Must Love Dogs" is a wonderful story. But these days, I know those kinds of movies aren't good for me. They almost always make me cry. Even the "happy" ones. So I turned it OFF. Thats right, off. I have better things to do with my time than to watch movies that I know will upset me. If I know it upsets me, I can do something to change my actions so that I don't get as upset. So I turned the TV off. And now here I am. Exhausted, freshly showered, and ready to go to bed soon. And oh so glad that I turned the TV off, because it means I'm not going to bed crying.

step 6?

Still not feeling the progress. I've written a bunch of stuff down about step 6, or rather questions that I can't answer for myself. I really need to call my sponsor, as it would probably be good for me. I really want to move forward. I want to feel better.
Somewhere, in one of the pieces of literature, there is a quote I love "Getting better doesn't always mean feeling better."
That is all.