Do meeting makers make it?

I realized last night that I'm finally getting over my guilt of not making it meetings. I just don't have the drive to do it here. My schedule for the summer is such that I probably could, but I'm not there yet. The nice thing I thought I realized last night is that I'm probably over my guilt because I don't feel the pressure of needing meetings. Life feels mostly manageable right now. Or so I thought.
As I sat doing slightly mind numbing work this morning, I realized that while life on the whole on the outside is rather manageable right now, life on the inside can still be just as crazy. And that I am dealing with some Crazy right now. I've been trying to plan a trip back to the last city I lived in, visiting some family along the way. I found out a bit ago that some other family would also be in the area and I wanted to try to get my trip to correspond with theirs. But nothing I've done has made this work. And it's made me nuts in more ways than one. It wasn't until this afternoon that I realized that just as I have been touched by the family disease of alcoholism, so too have these family members. Just because I'm trying my hardest to be on 'good behavior' doesn't mean they are. So instead, I will now start planning my trip as I see fit, without the attempt to plan around these family members. It will help restore me to some sanity.

The other thing this bought up though is some of my character defects. Well, one of my overarching ones that gets others going; the feeling of never being 'enough'. I won't dribble here what my thought pattern has been, but it hasn't been positive and it hasn't been happy. It certainly hasn't been kind nor forgiving. And that right there is probably why I do need a meeting.

Maybe tomorrow.