How did I get here?

I feel like I could fall asleep at any moment, so hopefully this will be coherent (and yes, I realize it isn't even 9pm yet).

How did I get here?
I've been in a lot of step one meetings lately. While I am always initially annoyed (because I'd rather be working on "hard core" Al-Anon), I usually leave grateful for the reminder of why I keep coming back.

Step back MANY 24 hours, and the me that you see would be quite different from the me of today. Most of this can be "blamed" on Al-Anon.

My story:
Oh so many moons ago, my then boyfriend informed me that he as going away to some retreat thingy for the week. His mom would get him there, but I'd need to pick him up. Being the dutiful girlfriend that I was, I of course agreed. Enter insanity. I managed to give myself severe food intoxication the night before (I know it was a toxin issue because I was sick that night, but it cleared by the next day, versus an infection). So here I am... emptying my innards all night only to get up early the next morning to go pick him up. Oh, and it had snowed!
He came back with the declaration that he was an alcoholic. Which I didn't really care about (or understand, in hindsight). He entered AA. And within a month I was annoyed and angry that he was 'getting better' and I was still miserable (I have a history of depression too). I remember standing in the street one night in front of his mom's house asking in my oh so snotty voice 'Well what am I supposed to do?' He thankfully had just enough recovery to tell me that he was sure and that he'd ask his sponsor.
The answer was simple. "Why doesn't she go to Al-Anon?"
So I arranged to meet said sponsor's girlfriend at a meeting. She never showed up. But I hung in there, though a stellar meeting of 4 people, 2 of us new comers and the third a relative new comer.
I don't remember many meetings after that. I obviously kept coming back, but I couldn't honestly tell you why.

After the boyfriend and I had a bit of recovery in us, I remember him asking me why I didn't leave early on. At that time, I didn't know, I just knew I was supposed to. Now I know why. I needed Al-Anon and he was my ticket there.
Today I can see the effects of alcoholism in my family, but more importantly I can see the effects of alcoholism on me. While I know not all of my problems can be "blamed" on alcoholism, I know that Al-Anon holds many answers for me that I wouldn't have found packaged so nicely elsewhere. I can handle the principles of Al-Anon because I can "Take what I like and leave the rest." Some ideas that I found completely stupid in the beginning I now can see the use of.

This program has also taken me places I've never dreamed I'd go or had me meet people I never knew I'd meet. Perhaps my most 'daring' was volunteering to help bring meetings to the women's detention center in the area I used to live. Who would have thought little old me could be of service to women serving time? But there I was every third Sunday of even months not dressed in jeans helping to lead a meeting at the detention center. While the meetings there have their own unique set of challenges, it felt good to know, sadly, that someone else's story was worse than mine. But it helped me to know that if they too could have hope, so could I.

My relationship with the person who got me into this program ended a few years ago already, but I'll be forever grateful to him for introducing me to this program. While today has been a challenging day (more because I'm not taking proper care of myself and getting enough sleep), I know why my day is challenging, and I no longer chalk it up to just that life sucks. This too will pass. And with some extra sleep tonight, I'm sure I'll fell better tomorrow.