changed attitudes

Changed attitudes
I'm starting to finally grasp just how this can work.
I tend to interpret people's behavior for the worst, especially friends and people I live with. If you don't want to hang out, or don't have time, I assume it's because you don't like me any more or don't want to be my friend.
If you clean up after me, I assume it's a message that you aren't pleased with how I've been taking care of things. And this is a consistent problem I've had with housemates. It isn't to say that I'm always neat and tidy. On the contrary, I know I'm not, but I know that I know and I make sure to tell people that I'm going to be living with not to expect me to be neat and tidy. And that it's usually dishes that are my true weakness.
So my current housemate deals with kitchen stuff different than I do. And I've, as usual, been interpreting it as an unspoken message that I'm not living up to unspoken expectations. And I've been getting pissed.
Right before I left for this weekend I kind of realized I can change my attitude. My housemate is an adult. If she has problems with how I'm doing things in the common space, it is her responsibility to say something to me about it so that we can discuss it. The change in my attitude is trying to realize that maybe she's just doing what she thinks is nice. Maybe she thinks she's being helpful. Maybe it isn't an unspoken passive aggressive movement against how I do things. So I'm going to see if I can put this thought pattern into better use. To see that maybe someone else is trying to do something nice for me rather than being annoyed that things aren't done the way I would do them or want them done.