Qualifiers?

It was this weekend when I finally realized why the idea of having a 'qualifier' in Al-Anon has always bothered me.
We talked in our Area World Service Committee meeting about words and phrases that aren't Al-Anon, and the word qualifier came up. It wasn't until I was cooking dinner that night that I realized why it always grates one me when someone says in a meeting "My qualifier is... [mother, father, brother, sister, spouse, friend, etc]." Although I have been affected by someone else's drinking, I don't go to meetings because of them. I go to meetings because of me. It doesn't matter who in my life did the drinking, just that it bothered me. And Tradition 3 tells me that. "The only requirement for membership is that there be a problem of alcoholism in a relative or friend." It doesn't say that it has to be a particular relation. Just that there be one.
Part of this is also the idea of keeping the focus on myself and not the alcoholic. So I think from now on, I'm going to attempt to refrain from mentioning whose drinking bothered me, but simply that I have been affected by someone else's drinking.