Third step work

Quite often in meetings I hear the idea that if I'm having problems with a step, that I should go back to the one before it and work on that one.
I don't consider myself as having problems with my fourth step. I just haven't done it. I don't know why. I don't feel fear surrounding it. But for some reason, I just haven't done it. So its taken me a while to realize that I still have quite a bit of third step work to do.
One thing I've come to realize lately is that I don't trust my higher power as much as I thought I did. I find that I'm still trying to bargain with my higher power. "I'll do this, if you do that." And although on an intellectual level I know thats not how it works, its still what I find myself doing.
This is particularly frustrating in my job search. I feel like I've done all the footwork I can do (I've applied for probably close to 30 positions), but I still don't have any call backs. So I find myself doing weird things thinking its the next thing I need to do, and then I'll get a job. But that hasn't happened yet. I haven't yet figured out how to trust the process, and that my higher power will do whats best for me. Nor have I figured out how to do the process and not worry about the results. I know what results I want, so I'm having a hard time letting go of them too.
In other words, I haven't really turned my will and my life over to the care of my higher power. I don't trust that she's going to give me what I want, so I'm still trying to control it.
Let go and let god.
So simple yet so hard.
Thanks for letting me share.