Experience, Strength, and Hope

Originally this blog was made only so I could comment on someone elses blog. I already have another blog and thought I had no need for this one. As it turns out, I do. My other blog is more of a journal. Its my daily thoughts, how my day was, all that kind of crap. This blog shall be about my recovery. This is the blog I will use to share my experience, strength and hope. The only caveat I place on myself here is that anything I want to type here, I need to be willing to share with my sponsor. I am not allowed to use this as my dumping ground. I have to remember to call people about my problems, not just write about them, as I've done in the past.

I've been going to Al-anon meetings since March 4th, 2003. It is something that has truly saved my life. If there is one thing my other blog is useful for is its view into the past. I started that blog about 7 months before I got into recovery, and it details many of the reasons why I need Al-anon. If I need to be reminded how far I've come, I need only read the first 7 months of that blog.

Where I am today... this is a tough one. I know today that I am doing so much better than I was 3+ years ago. Though I still suffer from depression, it is much less it was "back then" and it is also much less severe. I finally have a sponsor I feel I can work with. I still haven't done a fourth step. I think this is partly because I haven't had anyone I thought I could share my fifth step with.

Today has been about boundries and trying to listen for my Higher Powers will for me. Its tough. I thought I had drawn a pretty firm boundry about my living situation, and now its being challenged. I'm not sure what to do. Is this my Higher Power's message that I should move on? That there is something better for me out there? Or perhaps this is my chance to try a new behavior and try to work through the current problem? I know I have a habit of running from living situation problems. I'd rather move then deal with them usually. But because I just moved here 5 months ago, and my last move was such a pain, I am loath to move again. My sponsor advised me to try and get quiet and to listen for an answer from my Higher Power. I've not been good about that in the past.

Thats it for now. Thanks for letting me share.