We had just left the church, the same church that she had gotten married in just a few years previous. The Susquehanna River was frozen pretty good too, just like at her wedding. I think I may have even sat in the same pew. And was just a few minutes late too, just like I was for her wedding.
We had gotten maybe 2 or 3 blocks, me driving. I hadn't stopped crying since we had arrived at the church. Especially since K had sang. And I just lost it. I knew in that moment that I couldn't drive any further. My grief was overwhelming, still is many days, and I just couldn't function any more. In that moment, I turned it over, said I couldn't drive. And three voices chorused back, that they could. In that moment I understood what it meant to turn something over and let go of the result. I didn't have to be in control of everything for every minute of every day.
Sometimes I wish my Higher Power had gentler ways of teaching me these things.
Sarah, I love you and will always miss you.
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